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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

2012 horror/survival games I am looking forward to

All you freaks out there should enjoy this post not that I give two bloody shits whether you do or don't. In this post I will be delving into the video games that I am most looking forward to playing this year.

First up is a game called Deadlight. This game is set in an alternate universe where the year is 1986 and people have been infected with some kind of virus. Just based on this little information I am very intrigued to see how this game plays. I know that this sounds like a world that I would love to live in.

Next game up is the long awaited BioShock Infinite. This game is set in the air city of Columbia in the year 1912. You play as a man named Booker DeWitt trying to save a young woman named Elizabeth from two different factions one being "The Founders" a group of people trying to keep her in Columbia. And the other called the "Vox Populi" a group hell bent on killing Elizabeth. In my opinion they should just kill the bitch and throw a party.

The final game for this post is Silent Hill: Downpour. If I have to tell you where this game takes place then YOU WILL BE GETTING A VISIT FROM ME!! In this installment of the franchise you will be playing as Murphy Pendleton a prisoner who winds up strained in good old Silent Hill. Like the above mentioned Deadlight there is not a lot of information out yet about this game but it is a Silent Hill game and based on that alone it should be a great game. And if you don't like my picks THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY COAT HANGER UNTIL YOU BLEED TO DEATH.

FUCK OFF FOR NOW AND HOPE TO HELL I DON'T COME FIND YOU

Monday, March 5, 2012

Nightmare On Elm Street Books

Well here we are again you little fuckfaces time for another blog post. I know that none of you shitstains have enough balls to read and respond to my post anymore out of shear terror of knowing that you could possibly be my next bloody victim but I'll continue to post anyways. Now I know I have said that I love movies more than reading but that doesn't mean that I never read at all. As a matter of fact I can remember the days way before movies and television when the only form of entertainment was to read. Reading such classics as Bram Stoker's Dracula, Marry Shelly's Frankinstein, and anything and everything by Edgar Allen Poe. But alas times change as do the seasons and styles and the types of books that come out every year. These days I no longe turn to the classics when I want a good read but to modern horror books based off of some of the greatest slasher franchises. While I have not gotten around to all of the books based on these franchises I have managed to get through most of the newer Nightmare On Elm Street books. Here are a few suggestions if you have the balls to read them and not be little whining pussies. I'll be seeing you all very soon whether it be in your nightmares or in the dark shadows of your room. I AM COMING FOR YOU ALL!!!!

A Nightmare On Elm Street Books

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Suffer the Children

Written by: David Bishop
Published by: Black Flame (Games Workshop)
Released: May 2005
Edition: Paperback
Pages: 404

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Dreamspawn

Written by: Christa Faust
Published by: Black Flame (Games Workshop)
Released: May 2005
Edition: Paperback
Pages: 407

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Protégé

Written by: Tim Waggoner
Published by: Black Flame (Games Workshop)
Released: September 2005
Edition: Paperback
Pages: 409

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Dealers

Written by: Jeffrey Thomas
Published by: Black Flame (Games Workshop)
Released: July 2006
Edition: Paperback
Pages: 398

FUCK OFF FOR NOW AND HOPE TO HELL I DON'T COME FIND YOU

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The River on ABC

Well I think it's about time that I give all you freaks out there my opinion on ABC's The River. Hmmm, what to say about this show other than I wish I had come up with this idea myself . How about that I can't believe that is is from one of the makers of that shit fest called Paranormalcraptivity and it is a great show. I watch this show every week on Tuesday after my ritual slaughtering of one of you squeal boxes. MMM I think I just gave myself goose bumps thinking about all of your sweet screaming, squealing pain. Now where was I again. Ah yes I was talking about the show The River. This show has almost everything you could want out of a horror show a missing person, crazy undead people, black magic, and a great atmosphere. The only thing that could make this show better is buckets of slasher blood. There is really not much to not like about The River. This show is very well written and directed, and the actors play their parts perfectly. I also don't think it hurts having Steven Speilberg as one of its executive producers. This show has amazing potential for the future hopefully that Paranormalcraptivity fucktard doesn't screw this show up. For now this show is a definite watch it airs on ABC or your ABC affiliate every Tuesday night. Oh and if he does fuck up guess who will be waiting in the shadows to let some blood fly. Well it is that time again to go out into the night and hear some screams and watch some blood drain from bodies. Just pray that it is not you, not your body, and not your night to meet ME!!

FUCK OFF FOR NOW AND HOPE TO HELL I DON'T COME FIND YOU

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Horror/Slasher Movies: Old School vs Remakes: Friday The 13th

I did one of my favorite things in the world to do the other day that is next to terrifying and torturing you all until you shit or piss yourselves before watching the the life slowly drain out of you. That is have a good old long horror/slasher movie marathon. As I watched such horror/slasher classics like My Bloody Valentine, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween, Friday The 13th, and Black Christmas it hit me that all of my beloved horror/slasher movies had all been remade. So I decided to sit down in my favorite blood stained chair with a box of my favorite treat of sweet chewy eyeballs and start a second movie marathon watching all of the aforementioned movies remakes. After watching all of the remakes I realised that HOLLWOOD had ruined my two favorite slasher kings franchises Friday The 13th and A Nightmare On Elm Street. I was infuriated! After a late night stroll of some pitch black alley ways to pick up a few new victims to torture and toy with I found myself still pretty pissed off. So I decided to write this little post to all of you shit stains.

So the question is old school vs remakes. In my opinion which of course the only one that really matters anyways, 98% of the time you will absolutely never ever beat the original i.e. the Friday The 13th remake. I'd like to know which HOLLWOOD FUCK STAIN decided to green light that script so I can go find them and have me a screaming good time.

There were just to many wrong decisions made in this movie for it to even be close to being called a good movie. Like stadium lights at the camp I wonder who the fuck came up with that brilliant idea. I can see it now Jason Vorhees walking into a Home Depot and asking the people for help finding stadium lights for his camp of death. If this is what happened I hope that he at least killed everyone in the store afterwards ending his shopping experience in a bloody masacre. Another thing that REALLY PISSED ME OFF the decision of the actor to run instead of walk. Everyone knows that all great slasher villains walk never ever run. And I shall prove that to Mr. actor man after I have taken him to the middle of nowhere and stalk him over several days by only walking. And every time I catch up to him I will cut his sobbing shit covered body until I have pushed him into a very dank dark cave where I will punish and torture him until I finally gut him like the little piggy he is. My final complaint is under ground tunnels. Since when has a killer of Jason Vorhees caliber needed tunnels to get around. If you are as good as villains like me, Jason, or Freddy you don't need tunnels because you know every square inch of your play ground you know every singl short cut to cut your running screaming victims off at every turn of a corner. And that is a fact if you don't think so I guess you will just have to wait for me to come for you and I WILL BE COMING FOR ALL OF YOU SOONER OR LATER!!

FUCK OFF FOR NOW AND HOPE TO HELL I DON'T COME FIND YOU

Monday, May 16, 2011

Suggestions

Well all you little fuckers I am looking for some suggestions from you on movies you would like me to review. I would like to review some older stuff maybe from the 80's or 90's or even earlier if that is what you shit stains want. You should all feel lucky I am even offering for you all the honor of giving me any kind of suggestions at all. I should just come to your houses and splatter all the walls with blood. But I will hold back the urge for now and see what all you pussies can come up with. Oh and Donnie Kendall I haven't forgotten about you either. I will be coming for you very soon.

Fuck Off For Now And Hope To Hell I Don't Come Find You

Friday, May 13, 2011

Supersitions

Well today is once again Friday the 13th one of my personal favorite days of the year. I began to think as the day went on about superstitions. While I personally have none. Well expect maybe for the step on a crack break your mothers back. MMMMM I love doing that just to hear the sweet scream of my mother back breaking as she rots in hell for all of her whoring around. I am sure most of you tit sucking freaks do have some kind of superstitions. If you freaks think you are up to the task drop me an e-mail or leave me a comment letting me know what some of your superstitions are. Now show me what you have or there will be blood shed and, if your not careful it might just be yours this time.

Fuck Off For Now And Hope To Hell I Don't Come Find You

Monday, May 9, 2011

First Movie Review That I Have Been Sitting On

All right you freaks here is the first of the movie reviews I have been sitting on. This movie is a few years old but I thought it deserved a review. So what is this awesomely horrific movie you say well the answer is Cube. This movie was made in 1997 and has two sequels Cube Zero and Cube 2 Hyper Cube. This movie starts off a little slow as far as the death and mayhem go but it does build up some pretty good suspense. So the movie starts with a man waking up in one of the rooms of the cube. He begins to explore the room noticing that there are six doors. He decides to go through one of these doors into another adjacent room only to be cut by lasers into large cubes. How moronic do you have to be to go into the one room where you are surely going to die. I guess he should have used a bit more time examining the rooms before making such a hasty decision. Now we go to different rooms where we see people who are just waking up and trying to find there way through to other rooms. Eventually five people make it into one room where they do the oh we need a plan and become a team bullshit. They finally decided it would be best to start moving and trying to find a way out of where ever they are. The five people then decide to try to figure out a way to find out which rooms are trapped and which rooms aren't. At first they use a boot to figure this out but that doesn't last too long as one of the rooms has an acid trap in it and one of the five loses their lives in a very awesome acid death. I guess he will remember to look before you leap the next time. OH wait that's right he was a dumb ass there won't be a next time. The group has to decide whether it is best to go on or to stay put. They decide to move on but need to find another way to figure out which rooms are trapped and which ones are safe all while trying to also figure out who put them there and why. They finally figure out another way to tell if the rooms are trapped or not and begin making progress once again through the cube. When they go into a room to find yet another person in the cube. He is a mentally impaired guy. They try to figure out how he has lasted as long as he has in the cube with no ones help. As I don't want to give the whole movie away this will be the end of this review. If you want to know what else happened I guess you will just have to watch it yourself if you have the balls and the stomach for it. I will also be doing reviews for Cube Zero and Cube 2 hyper Cube maybe if you are lucky I will give you a whole review on those. instead of coming to find your rotten stinking carcasses. On a side note I must find the man who created this cube. I could sure use it to keep my victims in to torture and to help keep my secret abode secret. Hmm. Imagine all the chaos I could do with something like that.

Fuck Off For Now And Hope To Hell I Don't Come Find You
 
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